Guardian

I have watched, i have seen
I have observed, i have spoken
and now, i shall still be the guardian

there is fire, there is rain, there is storm
there is a bit of everything
chaos, unrest, suffering and pain
but yet, my heart shall remain calm and peaceful

i can't let the darkness prevail
even with only a dim of light
i shall drive them back
i shall call upon the horn
assembling my brethrens
and we shall defend the fortress with our might and strength
and the power that is given to us
from heaven afar

this shall be a day to remember

My thought

Hmmm.... things is began to make sense to me now. i began to see the bigger pic of everything that happened. i began to realised every thing that is being revealed to me. And i have the desire and passion to see that things get better and everyone is set free from it.

I need wisdom, i need wisdom to handle these things. i m not perfect. that's what i want ppl to knw. i am someone who can help u, and u must realise that i m just like all of u. i m not special in the sense that i m better than u, but i want to be equal with u to share ur problems, and help u in one way or another. and i believe every good seed that is planted in u, will eventually grow into fruitfulness. I will be patient, and i will pray.

I know wat should be done now. And i kept asking for patience and wisdom to help me. i need help from higher authority. I believe nothing is impossible. i will be strong and courageous in facing the future. for there is hope, there is light at the end of the road.

Hope

It got me to think as i am walking on the street at night. i see things dat i nvr realise. It seems as if God reveals to me the thing in my mind. we always associate troubles, pain and suffering to darkness. but as i look at the dark sky, i notice the stars and moon. it got me to think. the stars and moon resemble the hope that we have. they are tiny but they are significant. same apply to our lives. we face problems and troubles in our lives. but when we are in those situation, we normally will think negatively and hence, focus on the darkness. but if we actually in a state of calm, we can see the hope and began to grasp hold of the hope that can sustain us.

There is always hope in every situation. There is always a way out. and i find it interesting to know how this form a pattern similar to our daily lives.

Circumstances also taught us to be able to recognize hope and know what hope truly is. it gave me the ability to see things in bigger pic instead of focusing all on darkness and on the problem itself. hope are significantly insignificant. but we can see them easily if we have the right heart to do so.

and thru every circumstances, we become more mature, wiser. I am amazed to see how ppl actually changed into a better person by the problems and situation they were in.

There is always hope. do not despair when u see dead end. perhaps there is a secret passage. do not worry and think too much. there is always something to rejoice on. therefore, always rejoice for things aren't that bad after all

"Grasping upon the very hope that will shudder every inch of darkness" -Calvin-

on the side note, i felt lonely. lonely in the sense very hard to find true support i needed. perhaps it is juz me who bears everything on my own. oh well.. i do not knw. it is hard at times. but i will try to share more.

p/s: heh heh.. room is so messy. n i fallen ill. severe headache. i shall procrastinate from cleaning it up, for now =P

Wisdom

Wisdom is something i sought for this year. It is my goal. Wisdom is nvr easy. times like this, i began to think if i m being wise. sometimes, it's just dat i knw wat is right but i did not do it. i fell and follow my heart to do things i desire the most, though the result is something dat i knw would happen, but yet.... i still go for it. It is not easy at times. and sometimes, there is a price to pay for ur action. and today, i felt quite moody a bit. there is so much to be done. sometimes, too much till u do not knw where to start.

I gone all out and neglecting myself at times. gone all out till i actually fail to see clearly. or rather, fail to see the whole pic. there is a price to pay sometimes. and sometimes, there is reward. It brings me back to this perspective to think and be wise in action. but most of the time, i regard the things i done as investment, either into ppl's life or my own life. but this investment is something dat i dun wanna expect return, in the way of reward. I somehow believe through geniune heart, things can change, n i began to see that. i m glad to be able to know it and see it for myself.

and i always remind myself, to not too focus on first-person view point. to hard to see that way. and i m trying hard to improve myself day by day, thru the challenges and thru the things i done. Evaluate and perhaps can do better another time.

Passion and Focus

It's getting busier day by day. more things to focus on and more things to deal with. I began to realise the power of focusing. We tend to magnify our problem, and began to lose sight of our hope, our destiny and the straight path. Everytime we deal with problem, we tend to enlarge them. This sometimes causes no peace at heart. everything seems to not be the way we wanted. haywire here and there. chaotic feeling rising. it also causes us to unable to be wise in making decision.

then, another thing in our heart, we tend to rely on ourselves, on our own heart. That's where temptation arise due to ur desire. I began to trust and believe nothing is impossible. there is always hope because there is a higher authority in charge. I began to see hope each day. I began to see the fruit of the genuine heart of mine. i began to see the strength and power i could draw from hope. and indeed, hope gave me the strength to go on each day, expecting to see the sun rise again, expecting to see smiles and laughter and joy, peace and love.

I want to be passionate and desire for the greater good. I shall contnue to focus and concentrate. Never lose hope, coz u will always be able to see sun tmr. anticipate that, hold on to that, and strife for the future, for our future.

Have been very busy recently. but i am still surviving. i m just glad that i m still alive. haha. have been not really well. headache and weak leg. haha. but oh well... guess need to drink more water?? haha

tmr is a trip to mornington peninsula. can't wait for tmr. anticipating for tmr. hopefully everything turn out really really well

hmmmm...??

sometimes we thought life is so simple. but it wasn't as simple as it seems sometimes. i mean, there are tough choice, there are tough decision. at the point of them when u do not knw wat to do, u really out of idea and stunned. sometimes, things seems too extreme to be true but it can be true. just dat we dun think it can happen on us coz the possibility is so low.

at this point of time, yeap... i do not knw wat can i do now. i m deciding the best choice. wiser thinking is needed here. prayer is the best choice i can make now. going all out for those people is sometimes is not easy. sometimes it is not juz giving all out, but need wisdom as well. we can't simply do wat we wanna do but sometimes, there is a need to consider every circumstances and steps that is made. it is not easy at all. i m not giving up hope. i knew that this is a life and this is an investmate. good seed must grow, and we need to water these good seed till it become mature and strong enuf to withstand the strong wind.